Monthly Archives: October 2016

Single Parent Confusion

Single parent confusion is a real disorder did you catch it?  I know I was attacked by this illness when this situation presented itself to me not just once but twice.  Don’t worry I will explain how this all happened and how I finally was cured.

I have to admit just becoming a parent when my son was born (first child) scared the hell out of me!  I babysat  a lot when I was in high school. Being the oldest of four kids meant watching younger siblings.   I did have some experience with children but not taking care of them and being responsible for their every need!

Between my wife and I we did a pretty good job taking care of Jason.  I was laid off from my job so I had a year off to take care of him.  I learned a lot about babies and was very comfortable with being a house husband!

When my daughter was born two years later it was a much easier transition.  I was a pro at taking care of my son. I was working part time now.  My confidence in my ability to take care of children was soaring.  Bring on the newborn!

First Time Single Parent Confusion

Our marriage, in my eyes, was moving along great.  I went back to work full time and our financial situation was getting better.  I really believed things in my life were amazing.  Boy was I wrong!

She wanted her freedom about the time Laura turned 4.  The world for all of us was turned upside down.   She had physical custody at first. I paid child support. I worked a lot to cover the expense.  This is the first single parent moment for me. Single parent confusion round 1 had begun!

Single Parent Confusion Round 2

Then about 18 months later this changed and I had physical custody.  This is where the story really begins!  The second time began as my former wife wanted to move to another area of town and the kids did not.  We talked it over and she took over the child support (I figured out what it cost to raise a child and that is what she paid not 1/3 of her income) and I had the kids!  Single parent confusion really became an issue as now it was all on me.

My children were living with me now and I was 100% responsible…getting them off to school, getting them to activities, dinner, lunch, homework, etc. it was all mine..At the time I was living in a one bedroom condo.  The first thing we had to do was get a bigger place to live!

We did buy a new place to live and it was a block away and a three bedroom house.  I still had to figure out many more events that happened daily.  The kids and I put every activity, day off of school, birthday party , etc. on a calendar so I knew who had to be where on what date and at what time. This helped  me to get somewhat organized.

The kids had to learn to do certain household chores like clean their rooms and help with laundry.   We had to get everything done at home in or to  make every event.  We learned to work together very well!

What Worked For Me

I am not normally a huge proponent of learning how to parent from books.  By reading several of them I did get some ideas.  I am going to list a couple on here and the link will go to the parent book section at Amazon.  They helped put my mind at ease letting me know I was doing something right.   They may help you too.

I also started shopping online for many household items and school requirements for the kids. It will save you time and you can spend that doing fun activities with your kids.   I did shop at Amazon quite a bit but did other places as well.  You learn to time budget.  It is a must in order to keep up with the busy schedules.

If you ever come across a situation where you are suffering from single parent confusion work with  your children, write down their schedules and yours, simplify things by using online services, and make life with them fun!

Thank you for spending time with me!

Keith

 

                                      

 

 

 

 

 

 

Raising Children Alone

I know that raising children alone is no easy task.  I started raising my children alone when my son was 6 and my daughter was 4.  The reason I am writing this is to express my  true appreciation of the unconditional love and all out effort given by single parents. You are really raising children alone and putting the needs of your children first!

You can do it!  It can be a tough situation at times. You have to give up a lot of your patience, time and energy but you will succeed!  When you are raising your children alone the difficult areas are many. You must exercise patience in dealing with their illnesses , picking them up from school when they get hurt or sick at school, dealing with friend issues, teaching the kids to do household chores, answering questions, and many other things.  Always think before you react to them!  Try hard to keep a smile and not do something you will regret later.!

Tackling all of the issues presented to you by your children without hurting their feelings can be difficult. Responding to them in a reasonable, loving manner, is what your child wants. A loving and trusting parent child relationship really turns out to be a lifelong rewarding adventure.  You will build a solid foundation with them that will last a lifetime! This closeness will extend into the relationship you have with grand children and the bonds you are able to form with them.

Raising Children Alone:  You Can Do It!

I know you will do well because your kids are your number one priority.  Human beings make their share of mistakes but it is okay to apologize to your children if you make one or even more!  We are not perfect people and we should acknowledge our errors.  All of us must believe we can succeed at loving our children enough and taking great care of them because if we didn’t we would not be parents

Loving your kids is so natural and such a wonderful feeling!  After we get through the busy traumatic childhood then teen yeasr they will become adults.  We will have watched the kids we will always love with all of our hearts become parents.  They will count on  us because we were there for them and it is a wonderful thing!

It may say daddy on the sign above but it does not exclude single moms out there.  I respect all of you too..I know how hard you have to work, the sacrifices you make and the extra love you give everyday to your children and I say you are the best!

Thanks for sharing your time with me.

Keith